​It’s been six weeks of uncertainty, fear, doctors and tough times. Without getting into the details, my health was in jeopardy. I wasn’t sure what was happening. My every thought turned to my babies, my sweet boys… without their mom. I know it sounds dramatic, but it was scary. While I was concerned about me, I was really sad about the impact on my boys. Thankfully, I am now on the mend. But it got me thinking… really thinking… about what I missed and what I gained.

So here’s what I missed:

-I missed my boys’ very first football game. I’m the team mom so I felt even worse. I had committed myself and now I’m out for the first game.
-We cancelled our boys’ birthday party. Yes, I did it.  January is a big month for us. Jackson’s birthday is the 16th and Asher’s is the 20th. We were set to have 70 plus guests for a carnival extravaganza. All that planning… down the drain.
-I missed Jackson’s birthday celebration at school.
-I didn’t get to make my kids their school lunches. I couldn’t cook healthy meals for dinner time.
-I missed helping in Jackson’s 1st Communion class.
-I missed being silly with my kids, playing with my kids, just being with my kids.
-I missed weeks of karate class with my boys- this is our special time together.
-I had to rely on others.
-SuperMommyNot.com has been on hold. It’s not just a job, it’s my passion. Learning and growing as a parent.
-Calls came in for opportunities I have worked so hard for and I was in no shape to deliver.

But here’s what I gained:

-I got to see Jackson make his very first touchdown on video.
-I did get to celebrate my boys’ birthdays on their actual birthdays as a family, with my husband and dad. We are planning a family weekend extravaganza for the boys filled with swimming, slides and sweets.
-Daddy went to celebrate at school with Jackson. That’s now their special memory together.
-My kids got to indulge in hot lunch at school. Something they've been begging for. Both boys cooked for themselves… some very interesting recipes were created. 
-My kids showed me true empathy. They were concerned for me. They wrote me notes. They propped me up in bed. They cuddled (gently) with me. They tried to be quiet. They babied me. They smiled for me.
-The boys have more to teach me in karate.
-I had to rely on others- my husband was a rock star. He showed me how much he loves me. He was there for me anytime and in anyway.
-I learned that it’s okay to let family and friends help me.
-Even though I wasn’t able to work, I was able to think about what I really want.
-I became even closer to God.

So while I missed out on a lot, I gained more than I could have ever imagined. You hear it all the time, when someone goes through something tough, their eyes are more open, their heart is more full, they slow down to enjoy the small moments. That could not be more true. We all have challenges in life that can bring us down, it’s part of life. But it’s what you do to learn from those challenges that matters the most.

Now when we play scrabble or watch the super bowl or have dinner together, I am in it. I am not thinking about what I need to be doing to keep life on track. I’m just with my three guys. Period.

And I know that when life gets back into all that life is, I will look back at these lists, which will hopefully serve as a calming reminder, that life is oh so amazingly good.