Lately I feel like I can’t win. Life has been throwing curve ball after curve ball and I’m not here for it. The most frustrating part is feeling the impact of this situational stress on my mental health. I’ve had some really bad days.
On the bad days it’s easy to get lost in the false reality of my mind. I see all my weaknesses so clearly and feel like my strengths are hidden. I crumble and curse myself for it.
Why can’t I do better?
I already know how to overcome these thoughts, so why can’t I do it?
I’m not making any progress with my mental health.
I’m no better off than I was a few years ago.
I’m never going to get better.
These challenges are insurmountable.
I do all the right things. I go to therapy. I take my meds. I pray. Why do I still struggle?
On these days I can’t see any of the progress I’ve made over the years.
The negative feelings are so strong that it brings me right back to the memories of other times I have felt this way. The vividness and intensity of these emotions is astounding.
And if I’m not careful, I can get stuck there.
As much as I want to be able to pull myself out of this place without anyone else’s help, it’s often the reminders of others that bring me back to reality.
The words of a friend, therapist, or my husband telling me that I HAVE made progress, and that I can do this and overcome these rough spots, are what help me turn the corner.
You cannot judge your overall progress by how you feel today. You especially cannot judge your progress or your efforts by your worst days. We know healing is not linear; there will be ups and downs as we move forward on an upward trajectory.
Never give up. If you don’t have someone else to tell you today, I’m telling you that your efforts to feel better are worth something. The very fact that you try shows your strength.
You are doing it, and so am I.
I know it’s hard. I know sometimes it seems hopeless. But we have every reason to be hopeful even when mental illness tells us the opposite.
Things can get better. It takes time. Love yourself enough to be patient with your progress. ❤️