Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: My Dad Hero

Autism daddy and grandpa

0
Vote up!
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Email this article

I have two "Dad heroes."

The first one is my father. My father is a pretty amazing individual really. He is a doctor and when the Japanese earthquake hit years ago, he took time off of work to go volunteer. When I expressed my concern to him about it he said, "If I can't help in these times, what is the point of being a doctor?" I appreciated that, and still do, to this day. When a friend of mine brought it up to him and shared how "amazing" she thought it was, he said, " oh, it's no big deal at all" and shrugged it off. His hard work, his work ethic, his humbleness, his smarts, his openness for learning- all these things are things that I look up to and strive for. All that falls away though when he is around my two boys. My husband and I have twin boys- they are 4 years old. They have their grandparents (both of my parents) wrapped around their little fingers. He loves them, so, so much. I feel like he forgets the word "no" when he is around them.

The second is my husband, Yuki. He is the best father that I could ever ask for, for our boys. He was there when they were born and he still to this day talks with pride about how he cut their umbilical cords. When my boys were born, he ended up cutting back on his hours for work so that he could stay with them more.

Before I go on, let me tell you a bit about our boys.

9e6ea75692dd19915c01e37b0601fddb894ce641.jpg


My twin boys were born in August of 2015. They were full term and healthy.

When they were delayed in their speech, we were told (and thought), “It’s because they are twins, they are being taught two languages, English and Japanese, and are boys.”

That was just the beginning.

We got regional center involved. We started getting them assessed. We started OT, ABA and ST. Then, we received the diagnosis.

Yuri, my older boy, got diagnosed first. Then, Aki, got diagnosed a month later. Both are “mild to moderate” but since they are so young, it’s “hard to tell.” They were recently qualified for Regional Center with Lanterman Services.

They just started school and are in autism classrooms (two separate classrooms), where they get ABA within a smaller, classroom setting.

The evening that Yuri got diagnosed, Yuki and I had a long conversation. Yuki said what summarized everything we were feeling: "it makes sense. It clarifies a lot of things and also acknowledges that we were not overreacting. And the diagnosis is a way for us to get them the help to grow up and learn the skills to help them thrive. The diagnosis does not change who they are." So that is what we do. Yuki is amazing with the boys. He is so patient with them, teaches them so much and loves them unconditionally. Even in moments where I feel like I am going to lose my calmness, he is able to stay calm and talk with them. I appreciate that.

We also show the boys to keep aiming higher. Both Yuki and I are in school. Yuki is in a masters program for Statistics, and the boys know that he "studies." When Aki gets upset, he will say, "daddy, go study!" I am in a doctorate program for social work and I work two jobs (I'm a therapist and a program supervisor). We want them to know how important it is to keep moving forward and keep working on themselves. To do that, we show them. Yuki shows them, every day.

The fact that the boys are so smart and have made so much progress, is no small part due to Yuki and their grandparents. For this, I am eternally grateful.

This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.