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Challenge: I Feel Bad About...

All I Want For My Birthday is to Be By Myself

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Mom pressures imply we should have it all figured out. Crusts are cut-off sandwiches, we can master any Pinterest baking challenge without it resulting in a creation best displayed in the trash can, and despite all of the tantrums, poop and time-outs, we can never get enough of our children.

Yup, these expectations are more full of it than my daughter's potty training toilet.

I'm sitting in a coffee shop, on my 40th birthday, writing, drinking a mocha that defies all of the best Pinterest recipes, and enjoying some much needed alone time (wait, is people watching considered alone time?). As I was driving away from my house, this huge wave of mommy guilt started to wrap itself around me. I was feeling so bad about wanting to be away from my family on my special day. What kind of mother am I? I'll tell you.

I'm a mother who can feel overwhelmed. While the job of motherhood is so rewarding, it has the ability to make me feel like a total failure. Spread thin, not in all places at once and sometimes coming up short (I know, solely my own opinion because us moms put the most pressure on ourselves). I'm teetering on the edge of laughter and tears during the best AND worst days. So in this respect I can feel like I have everything and nothing figured out within the same hour - heck, within the same minute.

So today, I'm a mother who is providing herself some much needed alone time. And this alone time, allows me to be a better mother. So in that respect, this little gift (no, I'm not talking about the chocolate croissant I just inhaled), is a present for me AND for my family. I shouldn't feel guilty and I shouldn't feel bad. Breathing room can allow us to be better moms, friends and wives.

With a belly full of mocha and croissant flake residue on my shirt, I'm going to enter my home a few pounds lighter than when I left (yup, defying all laws of science - another mom talent). I'll greet the next tantrum with a little less frustration, my husband with a feeling of gratitude for letting me escape and an appreciation for the family and responsibilities I juggle everyday. So let yourself have a few moments to yourself. It's a gift you can give yourself and your family.

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