Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: Romance After Kids

A man who doesn’t put up with all your versions, surely doesn’t deserve your best one

Vote up!
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Email this article


Last night I was watching tv and a woman in the show I was watching remarked that her husband got “the best version” of her early on in their marriage.

Another woman in the same show commented to her second husband that he isn’t getting the best version of her and she apologized to him for that, further reflecting on it and expressing embarrassment and remorse.

Two women (tv characters, yes, but all the same) deliberating and believing that the them of yesteryear who was


more carefree,



fit and sexy,

flirty and frisky,

and charmingly honest

takes the cake over them of today who is

slightly cynical,

unexplainably crabby,

more tightly-wound,

semi-irrationally anxious,


more round,

and, yes, prudent.

Both telling themselves, and their significant others that any version of a woman who dons flaws and is obviously imperfect is, for all purposes, defective, and therefore clearly not worthy of their or any great love.


I feel it so strongly, I’ll say it twice.


Seriously, f*ck that.

Because I beg to differ.

Man, woman, undecided or anything inbetween, no matter what version you are of yourself, YOU DESERVE LOVE.

And support.

And constructive criticism, of course.

And forgiveness.

And grace.

And for all ur dreams to come true.

With no “but only if attached.”

Not but only if you never screw up.

Not but only if you always look put-together.

Not but only if you never worry or nitpick or exaggerate.

Not but only if you forever look as skinny as when you were twenty.

But if you

are working hard at something,


a job,

a passion,

raising kids,

or even if you’re just working to improve upon yourself,


You deserve alllll the love.

And respect.

And support.

And encouragement as does your deemed-by-only-you “best version.”

Dare I end my rant by announcing loudly and proudly that what will forever be the best version of you is the one who knows that all versions of you are worthy and awesome, even the ones that eat, drink, worry, complain or swear a bit more than the others.

So long as you are a kind, honest, humble, and giving this one life and your family your all, this version of you is pretty freakin’ fantastic in my book.

And also, a man who doesn’t put up with all your versions, surely doesn’t deserve your best one.


This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.