Whenever our child succeeds, we naturally want to congratulate him. We encourage it, even if it does not succeed because we want it to go forward. But there are many ways to compliment, congratulate and encourage. If we do not pay attention, we could unintentionally develop addictive behavior. Or we might not really have an impact. Yet we want nothing more than to encourage and enhance it.
By following positive and caring parenting, I discovered how to be more in tune with Clarence. Here I share with you 7 ways to congratulate or encourage your child effectively:
1. Compliment an act rather than a person
In the same way that it is more effective to criticize a behavior rather than a child, it is more effective to congratulate or compliment an act rather than our child. This avoids putting a label on our child, even positive because it could develop a duty to be always good.
2. Sincere and accurate compliments are more effective
Contrary to what one might think, a vague compliment has little impact on the behavior of our children. Compliments that are too automatic do not really touch them. To be more effective, congratulate him or compliment him accurately. He will feel more loved, more considered and more touched.
3. Unexpected congratulations have more values.
To receive congratulations when you do not expect it, it's really warm to the heart. Even if a child brings back a bad grade, he may be entitled to encouragement "You are probably disappointed, but I appreciate that you make efforts, I'm sure it will pay!” Children as parents, we all have the right to be imperfect.
4. Kids are proud of the compliments in public.
If your child deserves a compliment, then why not give him an idea to put it forward in front of family or friends? It is extremely rewarding for them and they are very proud of it. You can also display his drawings on the fridge or put them in a frame. Read more to congratulate and encourage your child effectively
5. Compliment also with gestures and smiles.
Let's not forget that speaking is not the only way to compliment or encourage your child. Feelings do not just go through words. A simple smile can say a lot.
6. Praise less, and encourage more.
The over-congratulations are counterproductive. If you do too often, the compliments can lose their value. Likewise, if you are in the exaggeration "It's you the strongest in the world!", He could start to doubt your sincerity "Yes, you say that just because you're my father ..." If it's a teenager, he might be wary of your too subjective words and see nothing more than an attempt at gross manipulation.
7. Compliments commensurate with his efforts
Above all, do not hesitate to compliment and congratulate him on his efforts. Nothing more than to cover him with congratulations for example if he won a judo competition after working hard every week of the year. On the other hand, it's useless to make tons of them if it's a simple act of everyday life like turning off the lights in the room.
Finally, the goal is to develop in our child a sense of self-evaluation. He should not do things to be congratulatory or to please. The goal is to become an independent adult who does things because he finds the right. So do not hesitate to guide him in this way:
- "Your grade card has arrived. What do you think?"
- "Congratulations, you succeeded thanks to your efforts!"
I hope these different and effective ways to congratulate and encourage will help you to better support your children.