Overcoming conflict is often easier said than done between two individuals who have been divorced or separated. They can also learn that the conflicts that existed during the relationship have a way of persisting in shared parenting. It may seem impossible from the beginning, but it is possible to overcome the conflict in shared parenting and peacefully raise your children as collaborating parents. Consider these seven strategies to overcome the conflict in shared parenting.
Your children are always first
It has been said many times before, that your children are always first. Before engaging in a conversation or decision-making process with your foster parent, be prepared to maintain focus on your children and their needs. Your goal should meet the needs of your children and reach agreements that work in their favor before focusing on your own desires.
Let the past be the past
As co-parents, you should focus on what is happening now with your children, and not what happened before between you two. Looking at past conflicts or events that contributed to their separation or divorce could lead them to make decisions based on their feelings toward those memories. Of course, some circumstances would need to be considered for some time, such as past events that put the safety of your children in danger, and should be brought to the attention of your family professional or mental health professionals to help you move forward in their shared parenting.
Do not let them scare you
While to overcome the conflict in the shared parenting you must work to finish it, being afraid of it together can create more harm than good. Being afraid of conflict can cause a person to become more defensive or irritated than they would normally be in the conversation. If you feel that a conversation about to occur can create conflict, stay calm to reduce the tension that might cause this situation to move from controversy to a full discussion.
Clarify, do not assume
When faced with a conflict with someone, it can be easy to assume answers or reasons behind the actions of the other person. Even if you think you know this person very well, do not reach conclusions before you have all the facts clear. To overcome assumptions or speculations, ask questions to help you understand what they are referring to and have a better idea of how to end the conflict to reach an understanding.
Give yourself a chance to think
It can be difficult to know exactly what to say when faced with a difficult issue. But to help you overcome a looming conflict, think carefully about how you want to respond. Give yourself some time to really think about what you want to say and how to do it in the clearest and most effective way such as giving gifts to your father on father day.
Choosing words and tone are key
Building effective communication between you and your foster parent will undoubtedly be helpful in reducing conflicts, so it will be important to keep in mind the words and tone you choose to use when talking to the other parent. Stay away from using language for the sole purpose of offending or hurting the feelings of your parenting partner; this will only prolong a conflict. Also, keep in mind the way your tone transmits the words you choose to use. This goes for when you are talking face to face, by phone, or even in the courier. Some communication tools,
Winning is not everything
Overcoming the conflict is not about winning arguments to end them. It is about communicating and reaching agreements in a way that not only supports the interests of your children but also keeps them protected from conflicts that may be harmful to them. Stop trying to always be right, because the truth is that you do not always have it. Instead, give an effort to be understanding and fair like buying gifts online for your parents. Maintaining a focus on your children and maintaining their well-being will help make this goal easier to achieve.
Overcoming conflict in shared parenting is not always easy, but these seven strategies can help you get there. On the other hand, the use of tools to support your efforts in achieving clear and peaceful communication can be very helpful.