I am pregnant and hormonal and even I don’t know what that really means.
My emotions are off the charts. It’s like a constant PMS roller coaster that I’ve been on for several months now. I know this is what we wanted and I don’t feel entitled to these emotions. I wish I could help it, but I guess it just comes with the territory. I am a strong woman who likes to do things for myself, but here are a few things I need during my second pregnancy:
1. Please don’t assume you know how I feel.
Everyone is different and so are their emotions. The day I told my extended family I was pregnant everyone was so thrilled and excited for us. Don’t get me wrong. We were excited too, but this was also the same day that we found out that we lost one of the twins we were expecting.
Apparently it’s called vanishing twin and it’s a thing and it happened to us. So don’t assume you knew what I was going through on that day. I couldn’t be more thrilled for the little boy we are expecting, but I just needed a hot moment to myself. Don’t take it personally it just is what it is.
2. I want to be social, but I really don’t want to be social.
I mean watching my emotions is like watching a ping pong tournament. I like getting dressed up, going out, catching up, feeling like a real adult person. Let’s be real though, I don’t want to stay out late and I am tired AF. So please include me in your plans, but don’t be offended when I cut it short.
3. This one's for you hubby.
I know you are getting the brunt of all of this and I truly do love you for everything. You’ve really stepped up your game since my first pregnancy and I see the man you’ve become as a father to our first son. You are one amazing person. I know you want to help and you do a great job of it, but I would really love it if you offered to do more without me asking you to do it. Because #momguilt.
I want to go to the prenatal yoga class and I want to go for coffee with my friends and pretend it’s a mimosa, but I am an emotional nutcase and feel guilty leaving you two for a few hours. I know it’s a personal problem and if I want something all I have to do is ask, but remember I am still the same strong and stubborn woman you married who wants to do it all.
I won’t ask you to do anything I can do myself. I can unload the dishwasher and I can take out the trash and do all that petty shit that wives nag about, but it would be pretty cool if you just did it sometime without me having to ask.
4. It’s nice to have a mom squad that gets it.
This is what was missing my first pregnancy. A group of women who know exactly what you’re going through. Women who have seen you get a sippy cup thrown at your face and phone thrown across the park playground in the heat of a toddler tantrum. They’ve seen you at your worst and they know the toll that hormones take on your emotions. They let you rant and vent when things just become too much.
Even if all of our conversations happen in a group text and we rarely find time to see each other it is still so comforting knowing that you are there and that you get me.
So to my husband, family and friends; I know this is a long road. It will all be worth it in the end and we are in this together, but please be there for me when I need a shoulder and get the ef away when I need some space.
This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.