Having a baby changes everything in the most incredible of ways, but these are a few things to do before the baby comes.
This is a Pre-Baby Bucket List, if you will.
Let’s get right to it.
#1 Thing to do Before the Baby Comes: ENJOY THUNDERSTORMS
Appreciate thunderstorms now. I’ve always loved a good thunderstorm. The booming thunder, the steady rain, the lightning lighting up the sky. I’ve never minded a rainy day. And I’ve never minded a thunderstorm. That is, until I had a kid and that thunderstorm threatened to wake up my baby I’d worked so hard to get to sleep.
I’m okay with the daytime thunderstorms. But a thunderstorm during nap time? Or soon after bedtime?
The crashing thunder & lightning makes me tense as I wait to see if it will stir my child. I can’t relax until it’s over. And to think I used to enjoy them. Sigh.
#2 Thing to do Before the Baby Comes: SLEEP
Sleep is not on the list because you’ll never sleep again. It’s because you’ll never sleep soundly again.
I promise, you will sleep. If your babies are good sleepers you may even sleep a lot. But you will never, ever, ever sleep as soundly as you did pre-kids. Mainly because you’ve now developed supersonic hearing and every tiny noise stirs you and you think “my baby!”
So—sleep in, sleep often, sleep late—just sleep. And relish in that total “not a care in the world” type of sleep. Because you’re about to have to say “Bye Felicia” to that.
(And side note: Honestly, the reason Mamas are always tired isn’t just because our kids wear us out. It’s because we stay up late sitting still on the couch and soaking up that precious alone time long after our babies go down. Even though it means we will be more tired the next day. See Exhibit A.)
#3 Thing to do Before the Baby Comes: NOTHING
Having children and becoming a Mom is the single most wonderful thing I’ve ever done and will ever do in my whole life. It’s truly my favorite thing in the world.
I’m a stay at home Mom, and I’ve never been so happy.
But you really never just do nothing anymore. You’re pretty much always doing something. Even if it’s just worrying your heart out.
#4 Thing to do Before the Baby Comes: HAVE MORNING SEX
Ahhh, our formerly preferred time for nookie. It used to be so easy to wake up, roll over (or under) and boom. But now, we sleep until the last possible second and once our kids wake up, we hit the ground running. Sure, we could make time for morning sex. But we almost always choose sleep. (But there’s a silver lining—nap time sex is the new morning sex. At least on the weekends.)
#5 Thing to do Before the Baby Comes: APPRECIATE YOUR HAIR
RIP Natural Curls.
Yes, it can change. Everyone talks about all the ways your body changes after having a baby, but no one warns you about your hair. Sure, people might warn you that you will lose some hair around 4-6 months postpartum but they don’t tell you that your hair texture can change entirely. Yes, the actual texture can change. No one tells you that. They never even mention it.
I used to have naturally really wavy hair. It was borderline curly. I loved it.
It has zero wave now. Tear.
Now my hair is basically totally straight. And not like the glossy silky straight. Like kind of a nappy straight.
I mentioned this to my hairdresser a few months ago and she said “Oh yeah that can happen.”
UMMMM, hellooooo people?!! How about a heads up on stuff like this?
The things we do for our children. Like give up our natural waves.
#6 Thing to do Before the Baby Comes: LOVE YOUR BODY
I miss the perkiness of some…stuff.
This one is obvious because you’ve heard it from every person you know.
But don’t just appreciate how your body is/was before having babies. Appreciate it during and after. Because a woman’s body is a remarkable thing. An absolute powerhouse if you will. It will not only carry a baby—it will also carry you through amazing things.
But also…yeah, appreciate it before.
Because it will be different. And that’s okay.
But you know all that talk about how you don’t know what you’ll miss until it’s gone?
Well, I’m trying to warn you. You’ll miss some stuff about your bod. So appreciate all your stuff now.
#7 Thing to do Before the Baby Comes: BE SPONTANEOUS
Oh, to be spontaneous.
But don’t worry, you can still be spontaneous with 5-7 days advance notice so you can find a trustworthy baby sitter.
(This isn't real life. I sold my car 2 days before I went into labor. The buyer paid cash & we’d never seen cash like that so we did what anyone would & ran upstairs, threw it in the air & took a pic.)
#8 Thing to do Before the Baby Comes: SAVE MONEY
We used to have “extra” money…ish. But people aren’t kidding when they say having children is expensive. Even just diapers are expensive.
But one of our big expenses—and totally by choice—is babysitters. We value date nights (they help me avoid mom burnout) but boy do they suck away our moolah. Enjoy not spending double the money on date night to pay for a sitter while you can.
#9 Thing to do Before the Baby Comes: EAT & DRINK WHATEVER YOU WANT
Once you have a kid, you think about their health & safety 24/7. And while you’re growing a child, you’re thinking about their health & safety as a direction extension of you—because that’s exactly what it is. What you eat, they eat. What you drink, well you get the gist.
I never used to think too much about what I put into my body. I have a sweet tooth, I’d eat junk food when I wanted (and still do)…BUT, being pregnant made me think twice (or 20x) about the kind of food I ate. And when I was breastfeeding, same same. You want to give your baby the best from Day One. And when you’re pregnant, Day One is the day you find out you’re expecting.
Sure, I’d have a glass of wine when I was in my 3rd trimester. I’d have a drink or two when breastfeeding. And I never pumped & dumped, but that was because I never overdid it. I was extremely conscientious about what I put in my body before, during, and after pregnancy.
Enjoy the sushi & the wine & the brie. NOW.
#10 Thing to do Before the Baby Comes: FEEL CAREFREE
With Motherhood comes the most epic and huge responsibility in the world: keeping another human being safe and healthy. A tiny human being who is totally dependent on you. That's heavy stuff. You’ll carry that with you every day, everywhere. The worry for your children never leaves you. Not even when your kids are grown (just ask your Mom).
(Glad I did this the one time because now I’d want to know the driver’s safety record & training. #momlife)
So, while you don’t have the weight of the well-being of your child on you, enjoy feeling light & carefree.
You’ll look at everything with a Mother’s eyes, mind & heart once you become one. I never used to think twice about hopping on a plane & jetting across the world before having a baby. Now, you basically have to drag me on the plane. Not because I don’t want to go, but because I’m insanely scared to fly since becoming a Mom.
True Story: I wanted to feel light & carefree so badly after having my first child that my husband and I went to a jump/trampoline park and jumped all around like little kids. It felt so good, even if it wasn’t the smartest idea for a woman who had recently given birth. (Hello, testing the limits of bladder control).
Still, it felt good.
There you have it.10 things to do before the baby comes.
Now, go sleep late and then have spontaneous morning sex during a thunderstorm with your naturally amazing hair all over the place. And then let your beautiful body lay there and do nothing without a care in the world & a padded bank account.
Because you can.