The first thing parents should know about parenting is the fact that it is not just providing for them financially and materially and sending them to the best schools. It is not just looking out for their physical well-being and seeing to it that they are safe from harm. Parenting is more than just physical but goes deeper into the mental, emotional, psychological and moral aspects of your child’s life.
People are often heard saying that babies and children are blessings. That is true because they can really be the source of happiness in a home. However, your children are not going to be babies and kids all their life. They are going to grow up. And, whether or not your child will grow to be a blessing or a curse is up to you. In other words, you, as a parent, plays a big part in what your children can become.
This is why, before you decide to have kids, financial, mental and emotional preparedness are not the only things you need. You also need to be equipped with knowledge and be ready to execute the challenging task of good parenting.
Good parenting is a challenge that most parents have not mastered yet. This is because of some reasons.
- It is not measured by how many kids you have. You can have as many kids as you like but still fail in good parenting.
- It is not measured by how old you were when you had them. You could be matured in age when you had kids but still fail in good parenting compared to a younger mom.
- It is not measured by how hardworking you are in your career or business, how successful you are in making your business boom that you think you can apply good parenting by treating your children as you treat your business. In fact, many successful businessmen and professionals still fail in good parenting most of the time.
Good parenting requires several ingredients that most parents fail to apply.
- Time. This refers to giving time for your kids and not just focusing on your career or business. Take time to bond with your kids, doing things you both love. Giving time also allows you to monitor and know how they are doing in school, etc. This also refers to talking to them about good and bad behavior.
- Discipline. This refers to not being tolerant about your child’s bad behavior and giving them the necessary discipline so they will learn from their mistakes. Discipline can teach your children to be responsible and know their duties and responsibilities at home without you constantly reminding them.
- Balance in Praises and Rebuke. Praising your children for their good behavior and for accomplishing tasks is not bad but just make sure you are not overwhelming the child with praises all the time. This will make them boastful, overconfident, and think they are right and superior all the time and in no matter what they do.
- Open-Mindedness. Authoritarian parenting style may teach your children to respect authority, however, too much of this can actually push your child far away from you. They’d feel they can never open up to you because what they will say may be inappropriate or could make you angry. Even if you are teaching your children respect and disciplining them, make sure to leave an air of open-mindedness at home, where your children can be themselves without being judged.
- Role Model. Parents came first before their children. You learn love, respect, and good behavior first before them. This is why, you can’t expect your children to know how to reach out to you with good behavior already. Usually, they mimic what they see from you. This is why, if you want to raise a well-behaved, well-mannered and responsible kid, show them through your own actions.
After all, parents are supposed to be the first teachers and basic things like behavior are first learned at home. Giving time for your kids is a sign that you care for them.
Discipline in parenting must be fair and firm. Your home is not a military camp but when discipline is necessary, don’t let your emotions get in the way of firmness.
On the other hand, constantly reprimanding them and noticing only their mistakes can affect their self-confidence because they will feel that they can never do something better. There should be the right balance.
After all, that is what family is all about.
If parents are open-minded, children rarely keep secrets from them as they feel comfortable opening up to you. Being open-minded can leave an open door for you to your children’s life. You’ll know what their thoughts are, what their likes and dislikes are, why they like their favorite shows, etc. because you are entering their world.
If you can not only their parent but also their friend, they can be more family-oriented rather than finding peers outside the home and relying on them for acceptance.
Good parenting is like a relaxing reflexology massage. Massage requires putting the right pressure on the right points on your body for good results. This may not be easy but you can bet on it to be a good investment for your child’s future.