"Perfection is wearing." said Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding and boy was she right. It's too hard to achieve and so much is lost in trying to achieve the unattainable when you should be celebrating the miracle.
The miracle is the new life you have created. Your baby has meaning, purpose and will be everything you dream of, even if there is something wrong. And whatever that may be, you'll be ok... I promise.
It's ok to cry. To grieve for what you lost in that dream. Your baby is nothing less than a miracle and remembering that you have been given a child that will do amazing things is the first step to recovery, because yes, the news along can almost be too much to handle.
Four days after the birth of my first child we found out our son was born with a genetic medical condition that we couldn't pronounce (Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia) much less comprehend while trying to juggle new motherhood and now, a new baby that would need medical attention everyday of his life. I was heartbroken, angry, mad, sad, livid, and torn. I didn't know anything to do but love.
I loved his sweet smell, his soft skin and his innocence. He didn't know anything was wrong. He slept, while I cried. For days. I would dream of his uncertain future trying to piece back together the perfect life I had dreamed of for him that was stolen from me. It wasn't fair. But that was all besides the point now. Time to face reality and the reality was I was THE BEST PARENT to heal this child and take care of him. Not someone else, but me. He was given to me for a reason, I was the best.
He is now in my life to teach me things. And you start to learn from day one of motherhood. We all do. I looked on the positive side of things and thought it could be worse. It could have been a different medical condition. He might not have even made it to meet me. But he did. And now it was my job to keep him healthy and educate others about what he has and more. He has taught me lesson after lesson about life's obstacles and how to over come. I get it now. I really do. I would sell my soul for him and you will find you'll do anything humanly possible for your child. No matter what. We all would. It's called parenthood. Welcome to the 'hood.
What I have learned is that no matter the hand you are dealt, you were chosen for a reason because you were the best person to love and care for that new little person in your arms. Their potential is great, and yours is greater. Take your new knowledge and use it. It might just help someone else out one day when they're in your shoes, where you once stood. And they can see how far you've come. Remember, you are the lucky ones...congratulations on your new baby