School has let out for the year, so of course it’s time for the articles and blog posts telling us how to have “the perfect summer.”

And this year, the perfect summer is apparently a “throwback summer.” You know, a summer like kids had in the 1970s…running around the backyard barefoot with popsicles.

Just unscheduled madness all day, every day.

Sorry, but an unscheduled summer is just not my jam.

Here are seven reasons why I love my kids’ summers structured and packed with activities.

1. The more activities my kids are signed up for, the more free time I have. I mean, duh. Who DOESN’T need a free hour and a half to catch up on Big Brother every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday during little Amy’s toddler soccer practice?

2. Dirty feet = EW. Letting my kids run around in the backyard every day sounds good in theory, but really, it gets old. Plus if I let them do that, then I’d have to clean up the dog shit.

3. Kids like summer camp. Their friends are there. They play games. The counselors give them popsicles and apparently are unbothered by the juice dripping all down their faces and hands.

4. Swim lessons are a necessity. I dream of the day when I can lay back on a pool lounge chair and actually read a book. Swim lessons now will make that dream a reality in the future.

5. My wardrobe is getting kind of stale and I need some new macaroni jewelry to spice it up. Where else does one get that besides a summer camp art class?

6. Schedules are my thing for a reason. Breakfast at 7:00, lunch at 11:30, naps at 12:00… it’s the only way I can successfully guarantee a strict 7:30 bedtime. My shows start at 8:00.

7. Play dates with friends each week are my favorite time to socialize with my mom friends. The kids occupy each other and we get to drink wine. And as you know, opportunities for socially acceptable day drinking are always a bonus.