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Challenge: WHO Are You?

Rediscovering Myself With Rockstar Kids

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My job was eliminated a month and a half ago. I knew it was coming. But I also knew I spent the last two years doing good work at my paying job but also helping grow an organization with my rockstar 12-year-old daughter and 16-year-old son. We were in such a continuous pattern; I had not stepped back and looked at how our work together was taking me away from telling my story and my "cache" as a professional.

Interestingly, I had already submitted a panel discussion about "How To Support Your Rockstar Kid" for the Mom 2.0 Summit. I'm excited to share my experience and insight supporting my daughter, Jordan. I'm also thrilled to learn from the other moms on the panel, Anitra Allen, and Tamara Zantell.

When I knew my job was gone, I went into a panic. I know I have a rich collection of career experience and skills, but I had so much self-doubt. I've focused so much of my energy on my kids; I wondered if I could jump back in and feature my skills in a way other people would want to hire me for gigs or a full-time position. I hired a career coach who helped me get refocused and energized for what is possible in my near future.

At the same time, I am raising two kids who are two very different humans. I'm doing everything I can to support them. At ages 16 and 12, I also have learned I have to do a lot of stepping back and allowing them to figure out what works for themselves. My son, Cameron, is not type-A like his sister and I. That means I shower him with love and affection and hope he figures out what he considers success on his own. I can't force it on him. For Jordan, I have to encourage her to understand life has an ebb and flow of where you place your attention and your success. Right now, she and I have a book deal for a middle-grade book coming out in 2019. She and I are speaking across the country at some cool events. She has straight A's and just made it onto her middle school cheer squad. I keep telling her that she doesn't have to do it all. She doesn't have to be perfect.

I sometimes have to remind myself the same exact thing!

Losing my job allows me to reset. It allows me to focus on what I do best. And I do a lot of things well. But it also let me look at how I've supported my kids and their development and I know I've allowed that to trump my ongoing growth. Not just in my career, but in my life. I have surrounded myself with their needs and their dreams, and I forgot to do a self-check.

So, what's next? I'm looking for new jobs. I've relaunched my own consulting LLC. I have great clients, and I can't wait to see if this is the path I will take or if a full-time role will win out. Either way, I am looking for ways to keep a focus on myself while I support the rest of my family. It requires some extra time to find a new ebb and flow for myself.

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