It was my first pregnancy. The pregnancy was perfect. I suffered very little morning sickness and baby girl was moving all the time. I was round and "glowing" for an entire 9 months. I couldn't wait to be a mom. It was something that I had dreamt of for a very very long time. After 39 weeks and 6 days, the day finally came.

It's crazy how you can remember things so vividly even after 8 years. I remember the excitement during the drive to the hospital. I remember pulling up to the labor and delivery unit doors and checking in at the nurses desk. I can even recall filling out paperwork in my comfy hospital bed. It was all surreal. My baby girl was officially ready to make her appearance into this world. However, roughly 12 hours later my perfect pregnancy and perfect labor would be a distant memory to the beeps and hums of the NICU room.

Kennedy was born at 12:55 pm on Labor Day 2009. I started to notice the doctor getting a little nervous right after she crowned. The cord was wrapped very tightly around her neck and it needed to be cut right away. The assured me no need to panic but as a new mom that's easier said than done. After birth her color was a little gray, again they told me no need to worry and they quickly wisked her off to the incubator to warm up. All was silent. Dear God please let her cry! Why isn't she crying?! Finally a cry. All was well, until it wasn't, and the cries turned to grunts. Before I know it, the NICU team was called in. I was able to hold for a brief second, to see her face, and take in her smell and then they were all gone. Where was she, what was wrong, what went wrong? So many questions and very few answers. After what felt like a lifetime, I was able to go see her. Being wheeled into the NICU to see my beautiful 8lb 7oz baby hooked up to tubes and wires was the scariest thing I have ever had to face. I couldn't hold her, I couldn't feed her, I could only touch her and talk to her. This wasn't in my plan. This wasn't how I had envisioned my first experience as a parent. The next few days were pretty touch and go. Kennedy finally got off the vent and was on room air. We were finally able to hold our beautiful girl and work on nursing. The neonatologist explained to us that although they don't know exactly what's was wrong, they believe she has some sort of infection and would need to be treated for a minimum of 10 days. Ten agonizing days with an IV in your daughters head. 10 days having people tell you when to hold her feed her, let her rest. 10 days of constant beeping, alarms, heel pricks. This wasn't how it was supposed happen, it wasn't supposed to go like this. And then the 10 days were over.

As terrible of an experience as this was for us, I know it's a lot worse for others. I can't thank our NICU team enough for always having not only Kennedys best interests, but our best interests as well at heart. They made sure that I was taking care of myself, so that when it was our turn to care for her, we could. We left the hospital 10 days later. A family of 3, that eventually turned into a family of 4 and then 5.