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Challenge: Sleep Solutions

How to Get My Kids to Sleep in 23 Easy Steps

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Remember when you could go out to dinner?

I'll let that sink in for a minute.

Is the memory coming back yet?

I know, it's distant.

But there was a time.

A time when your biggest decision was whether to wear the blue pumps or the silver strappy sandals. And, when you decided at 6:50pm that you wanted sushi. And at 6:55pm, you were in the car.

Yeah. It's been a while. I know.

In the meantime, newborns have left you sleep-deprived and toddlers have left you emotionally traumatized, all of which is scientifically proven to cause minor memory loss. So, it's okay if you've forgotten.

I know.

Things are different now.

Because now, when you want to leave the house, you have to book your sitter a minimum of 2 weeks in advance. (And, if it's a Friday or Saturday night, make that 3 weeks.) Then, you have to pray that the sitter doesn't cancel because her work schedule changes, that your kids don't get the barf bug (for the 4th time this year) and that your husband finishes work early enough to pick up pizza on the way home for the little monsters.

Oh, and after that, once you are finally ready and about to leave the house, you have to write out a note like this.

You know, just some very simple instructions.

To explain how to get your kids to sleep.

In 23 easy steps.

How to Put My Kid to Sleep in 23 Easy Steps

Yes, times have certainly changed.

But enjoy that sushi.

Because, by 8:15pm, you'll be so tired that you'll be counting down the seconds before you can go back home and crawl into bed to get a few hours of sleep before demands for Octonauts and Honey Nut Cheerios fill the air at 5:45am.

But don't go home yet.

At least wait until the sitter has put the kids to bed.

Thanks to reader Rachel O. for sharing her photo!

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