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Challenge: Life Changes

End of marriage is not end of parenting

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No matter how big the turmoil you are going through is, there is a person more affected by the divorce than you and your ex-partner are. Your child is as important participant in the divorce too. However, although you must be feeling like the whole world is falling apart, you need to be there for your child.

There is one thing you need to bear in mind – the end of marriage means no end to parenting. Now it is the right time to be the best parent you have ever been. You are not the only one who needs support. Your child must be going through a lot of problems that all stem from their disappointment in parents’ marriage.


Understand what the child is going through

Children perceive their parents’ marriage as something safe and unbreakable. It is only when they see that it is falling apart that they become exposed to vulnerability and scepticism.

Although divorce is not a new thing, the manner children react to it has always been the same. Filing for divorce in California has never been easier, and in a matter of days it will all be over. But that is the crucial time to spend with your child and see what he or she it is going through. There are a lot of negative impacts a divorce can have on a child. Be sure to check whether your son or daughter has been turning emotionally unavailable. They might be willing to isolate from the rest of world and suffer in silence. Recognize the first symptoms of depression.

Social skills are at stake

You will always be a role model for your child, no matter how good or bad you behave. The attitude you and your ex-partner have will reflect in the child’s relationships. They may turn aggressive towards their friends. They will just imitate the manners you and your ex-partner have conversations so be sure to set a good example. What you need to do is talk a lot with the child and let him or her know that nothing is their fault.


Check their new habits

A child which is going through difficulties because of the divorce may turn to bad habits. Alcohol abuse and starting smoking are likely to occur. There is a study which suggests that children of divorced parents will more likely start to smoke. Do not let your child pick the habit. Talk to them about the negative effects drinking and smoking have. Should you start to notice any signs talk to them in a peaceful manner, not to provoke any aggressive aggression. Be aware of the fact that your child is going through hard times.

School does matter

Many children going through their parents’ divorce do badly at school. Their interest in studying drops so be sure to check their progress. Instead of being depressed yourself, do something that will help you both. Every day after school talk to your child about the school progress do the homework together.

The child still has both parents

Both of you need to show the child you will always be there for him or her. Convince the child that the divorce changes nothing to the love and care you express towards the child. Although your energy for parenting might be diminished, do whatever you need to lift it up. You two can create a parenting plan. It is vital that both parents are still present in the child’s life. With the division of duties and the timeframe when you get to see your child, everything will be sorted out.

Your child is going through a lot of pain because of your divorce. But it all needs not be so. What you have to do is observe their behaviour in order to spot some signs of newly developed bad habits and constantly talk to him or her. The child has to know that he or she still has both parents who will engage in their common activities.

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