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Challenge: Dining Pet Peeves

What It's Like to Eat Out When You Have Kids

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Eating in a restaurant when you have kids is a totally different experience from before children.

What It's Like to Eat Out When You Have Kids

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I enjoy eating in restaurants.

I have grand ideations of our family going out to eat at a sit-down restaurant and enjoying the meal. I want us to spend quality time together and this seems like a relatively realistic way to make it happen.

I see other families do it. Their children sit quietly coloring while they wait for the food to arrive.

Add the bonus of 1. I don’t have to cook and 2. I don’t have to do the dishes, and we have a clear winner.

The last time we ate out, the conversation ran something like this:

Zack: “I have to go potty.”

Dad: “I just took you potty 10 minutes ago.”

Zack: “I have to go pee!”

Dad: “Okay, I’m taking Zack to the bathroom.”

~~~

Paul: “Do they have macaroni and cheese here?”

Mom: “Yes, you may order the macaroni and cheese.”

Paul: “Can I get fries with it?”

Mom: “Yes, you may order fries with it. But I’m ordering broccoli too and you have to take a bite. And licking it does not count as a bite.”

~~~

Mom: “Josiah, you are almost a teenager. It’s time to stop building a fort out of the salt and pepper, jelly packets, forks, and straw wrappers.”

~~~

Zack: “I have to go potty.”

Dad: “I JUST took you potty.”

Zack: “I have to go now!”

Dad: “I am taking Zack to the bathroom again.”

~~~

Paul: “Mom, can I play with your phone?

Mom: “No, we are going to sit and have a conversation like civilized people. Look at that family over there. See how they are sitting so nicely, talking and waiting for their food?”

Paul: “Someone here just farted.”

Mom: “Here is my phone. Play a game while I talk to your father.”

~~~

Zack: “I have to go potty!”

Dad: “You cannot be serious.”

Zack: “I have to poop now.”

Dad: “Just have my food wrapped up to take home.”

~~~

Kiersten: “Why are all the people at the other tables staring at us?”

Mom: “I’m sure they are just admiring our beautiful family.”

Bekah: “Get real, Mom.”

Mom: “You’re right. I will leave an extra big tip.”

~~~

After we eat at a restaurant, Mike and I realize we have spent $150, not counting tip (7 people dining in, even with a coupon = expensive), for cold food and 1.5 hours of supreme parental torture.

It’s better in theory.

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